Barn3y
by dingodangodongodoo
Summary: Barney Stinson finds himself in Springfield, and gets the surprise of his life


Barney Stinson was confused. He had just left GNB headquarters, and found himself…somewhere else. It was weird. Everything looked wobbly and too colourful, and all the people that passed by had yellow skin. He walked, looking round confused, until he found a bar.

"Hmm, Moe's. Maybe there will be some sexy female booty in here?"

He went in. Sadly for him, there were no females. There was a grey haired bartender polishing a beer glass, presumably the titular Moe, and a fat guy wearing a salmon shirt propped up at the bar.

"Uh, hi, can I get a beer?" Barney Stinson said. "A…Duff?"

Moe nodded. "One Duff coming up. I ain't never seen you in here before." There was something almost accusing in the statement. Barney Stinson sat on one of the stools.

"I'm new in town, I…think. What is this place?"

"It's Springfield," the drunkard said. "Even I know that. I'm Barney Gumble, by the way," he carried out, stretching out a hand.

"Hey, wow, my name is Barney too!" Barney Stinson replied. "As far as names go, it's pretty legen-dary! You know, I don't think I've ever met another Barney before. Huh. Anyway, where are all the chicks? This place is a total sausage-fest."

"Women don't come in here no more," Moe said, mysteriously as he gave Barney Stinson his beer. "They don't like the ambience."

"Oh." He took a sip of the Duff. "Hey, this is pretty good." He took several more gulps. He noticed Moe disappear through a back door, and then he began to feel faint. Barney Gumble grinned, and said, as Barney Stinson passed out, "Ooh, you're a pretty one! This is going to be fun."

xxxxxxx

When Barney Stinson awoke, he found himself tied up in a dungeon, his arms and legs outstretched and bound tightly with cord. He glanced down, and realised he was also completely naked. There was also a gag in his mouth. Barney Gumble then entered, also naked, his penis firm and erect. He approached Barney Stinson and belched loudly in his face.

"All Barney's should stick together," he said, pinching his prisoner's bottom. He then walked round behind him, and began to lick his ass. Prisoner Barney squirmed, and was ashamed that he couldn't stop his dick from growing stiff, as Barney Gumble's tongue caressed his puckered backside. Barney Gumble then stood up, and pressed his dick against his prisoner's asscheeks.

"This might hurt just a little."

Barney Stinston wriggled and squirmed as he felt his ass being widened, as Barney Gumble's penis forced its way inside. The Barney Gumble spent a while fucking Barney Stinson in the ass, and as he was doing so, a big purple dinosaur entered the room. When Barney Gumble noticed, he laughed.

"Hey, Barney's here! The other Barney, anyway. A trio of Barney's!"

The purple dinosaur ambled over, and Barney Stinson saw that he was holding a knife. Barney the dinosaur then began to ease it across the captive's chest as Barney Gumble resumed ass-fucking him, and as Barney Stinson struggled and desperately tried to break free of his bonds, sweat and blood splattered all over the purple dinosaur. He rubbed some of the blood onto Barney Stinson's cock and began sucking. He then eased his anus onto the now blood-and-sweat lubricated cock, and eased back and forward, as Barney Gumble continued to pound away at the prisoner's ass. Barney Stinson's chest was still bleeding, and soon Barney the dinosaur was so blood-soaked that he was more red than purple.

Eventually, Barney Stinson could feel himself climaxing, and his excitement caused similar enthusiasm in Barney Gumble, and the two of them came together. Barney Gumble then started sucking the dinosaur's cock, and the dinosaur blew his monster load all over Barney Gumble's face. They then gathered up a mixture of the blood and semen off of the dungeon floor, and held it in their mouths. First Barney Gumble spat it into Barney Stinson's mouth, forcing him to swallow the mixture, and then Barney the dinosaur did the same. Barney Stinson vomited profusely, and then…

He woke up. It had all just been a very strange dream. He turned on the television and froze, because the Simpsons was on. He changed the channel, and it was Barney the Dinosaur. He flipped rapidly between channels, but on every single channel it was one of those two shows. He screamed,

"Nooooo!"

The end.


End file.
